Your Attitude

MAKE YOUR BED AND LIE IN IT

Part 4

Knowing how to achieve inner equilibrium is important, but your attitude towards life makes or breaks the quality of your life’s journey.

—- The way you touch life is the way it touches you back. Touch it with love, and love will flow to you. Love life and it will love you back.

—- You see in your life essentially what you believe. If, for example, you were to believe strongly in scarcity, think about it regularly, and make it the focus of your conversations, you would probably see a great deal of it in your life. On the other hand, if you believe in happiness and abundance, think only about them, talk about them to others, and act on your belief in them, it is a very good bet you will see what you believe.
From ‘You’ll See It When You Believe It’

—- Practice being positive . A positive mental attitude (whether it sounds old hat or not) is what you have to integrate into your life until it becomes a part of you. Initially it may not be easy, but the more little successes and joys and good outcomes you clock up and take note of, the more you will trust in the concept, and the easier the climb will become. Soon, you’ll be adept at it.

A positive attitude means looking on the bright side, finding the best in things, believing that what you want to achieve can be done. You harbour no negative feelings towards yourself, your capabilities, your destiny. As we noted before, everyone has lows in their life, but they shouldn’t be invited in because you’ve been standing at the gates of life shouting “Hey! Over here!”. Your life can be better and happier because that’s what you expect.

—– Day to day contentment is something you can make for yourself by trying to keep your mind constantly on the pleasant aspects of life and the things that can improve your situation. Try to forget (and avoid) everything that is irrevocably ugly, irredeemingly depressing or totally mundane. This is perhaps the most efficient way of minimising the factors that can induce stress, while at the same time filling your life with a soft shine that will show itself to others, too.

Cultivate agreeable thoughts; be friendly and smile a lot; focus on things that will enhance the quality of your days. And keep a healthy sense of humour – learn to laugh with life.

Resolve to see the world on the sunny side, and you have almost won the battle of life at the outset.

Sir Roger L’Estrange

Advertisements

Inner Equilibrium

MAKE YOUR BED AND LIE IN IT

Part 3

photo-1429277158984-614d155e0017

So now you’re going to be liking the wonderful, unique, quality person that you are, you need to know how to achieve inner equilibrium. And if you have this, happiness and success will have a more fertile ground to grow on.

You need to stop events, and other people, from dragging you along in their wake; you are responsible for your own feelings and the way your life shapes up. Taking ownership of your life is very important. The sea will still get choppy, but if you are at the helm of your own boat, you can control the boat a lot better than if you step back and give yourself up to the mercy of the water. This is not a fail-proof theory but for the most part it works. And sure, all sorts of stuff can stress you out, but it’s how you react that counts. Be strong; be wise. Remember, a high self-esteem means you don’t take rough spots too much to heart, and a positive attitude means you don’t nurture them. Nor do you create problems that aren’t really there. Besides, the more involved you are in the interesting and exciting life unfolding for you, the less petty and obsessive you will be over minor annoyances.

Dealing with general problems and tensions in a constructive way helps enormously towards inner peace. They’ll be there, but they can be minimised, often solved fairly quickly, and even got rid of before they have time to grow. The best way to tackle any feeling of unease you may have is to pin it down before it seeps through to the rest of your soul, and set out to do something about it. With a very obvious problem, face it, and get moving towards resolving it. Often just a “does it really matter?” will bring the answer “no, there’s really nothing to worry about.” But where the tension is real, you have to find answers. Only by getting past it can you get back onto the highway again. If there is no answer to be had, sometimes you just have to put the concern in a box at the back of your head for a while and close the lid so that you can get on with your day to day living.

Remember:

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.

Emotional issues like hurt, sadness, and grief often have to be ridden out until your system is ready to let go. We can all expect a fair amount of difficult stuff like that in our lives. Seek support, comfort and distraction and know that time is a great healer. You shouldn’t try to hide from these fundamental emotions.

Babble

Children are strange creatures. Cohen has always been behind with his speech and worried me silly. He’s on a publicly funded waiting list for speech therapy but in the last few months has come in leaps and bounds and I wonder where he even picks up his words! Like, where did he learn ‘parrot’? I would be far more inclined to say bird but right now everything that flies is a parrot. A mouse is a snail. Logical? He can count to 20 and recognise numbers and he is the most polite little boy ever.

‘Cohen, it’s nap time!’

‘No thanks mummy, thanks anyway but no thank you!’

What do you even say to that? You can’t say ‘No, don’t be naughty’ because he is so polite in saying no! Everything is thank you, no thank you, you’re welcome. I’m very proud of these manners!

He is also very caring. I have been sick with an awful head cold this week and he has a very caring nature so he has been looking after me. I was lying on the couch and he got me a blanket and put it over me, tucking my feet under the blanket too ‘All better!’ he says. Then he gets his foam couch and puts that on me too. Then the bean bag. Then a pillow pet. Then a few soft toys and a few more pillows. ‘There you go, all better now mummy!’. Uh huh, a mountain on me so I couldn’t move. Child logic!

I love it so much being able to communicate with him and have babbling conversations. Finley is well ahead of himself and joins in by repeating everything. It’s just gorgeous and probably why the anniversary of my mums death this year passed without any tears. I think I am moving on. I think I have stopped pining. I think my life is full. What a great feeling!

Where to Start: How a good sense of self helps you free your energies

MAKE YOUR BED AND LIE IN IT

The second instalment of my mums bookphoto-1429277005502-eed8e872fe52

“LIFE IS NOT LOST BY DYING! LIFE IS LOST MOMENT BY MOMENT, DAY BY DRAGGING DAY, IN ALL THE THOUSAND, SMALL, UNCARING WAYS – THE SMOOTH APPEASING COMPROMISES OF TIME.”

STEPHEN VINCENT BENET

Real freedom is being happy with who you are as a person, allowing you to grow in a forward direction, and to relax and live life to its fullest. You are never inferior or superior to anyone else, but you are the best you possible, someone you both love and respect, and you have a healthy attitude towards life. Your time isn’t spent trying to sort out hang-ups about yourself, or struggling to rise above things; your time is spent constructively by living and your energy is positive energy.

Feeling great about yourself enhances your life in other ways besides giving you freedom to move. If you feel as if you’re someone worthy of love and respect, others are likely to feel you are too; if you’re at home with yourself, they will be also. And the inner beauty and serenity that your attitude towards life – a bright, positive one – brings to you will lend you a glow and vitality that draws people like a magnet. Having the support and friendship of the world in general is a big advantage along life’s journey.

Becoming Your Best You

First of all, accept that you were born the person you are. Whether you feel you have been blessed or not, you’re you. But that doesn’t mean you have to be faithful to the way you are at the moment. You can be better, the best you possible; liken yourself to a rose bush that can either be left to its own devices to produce mediocre blooms, or a rose bush that is tended and nurtured and has really magnificent flowers. You can have that healthy self-esteem that real confidence and energy are built upon.

If you know your assets, you can work at bringing out all the good points about yourself, and minimising the not so good. Picture a new improved version of yourself: your looks and personality enhanced in a way you may not have allowed yourself to dream about before. Bring that picture to mind as you work about becoming that person – mind movies are potent things.

You can become this wonderful, authentic person; step by step by step. As from this moment onwards, love who you are and what you’re going to be.

But it’s not only about looks and personality . It is also about finding your bliss, your path in life. This is covered in a separate section and is irrevocably connected to becoming a better you. It is the impetus that makes seeking your freedom so desirable. Your “bliss” is the life you want to live as the new you!